beetlebug halloween cute underwear

i feel a lot better now after i set my mind to not talking to him anymore. it’s come to a point where it’s rhetorically pointless.

anyway it is halloween today! i am going to prance around the streets of melbourne wearing my halo. (:

suitcase calling.

i’m trying to believe leona lewis that all will get better in time and emphatising with bon iver in losing himself to his skinny love. too many thoughts are running through my head right now… when we know that questions can’t be answered, why do we bother asking them?

i miss the sweat and comfort of home. change is not always the most pleasant thing, no matter how exciting.

worried sick.

i don’t know how a person can know what he’s doing and claim to not know at the same time. now it’s late and people are afraid of consequences.

that is if you have any conscience at all.

so today, after 3 exams in a row this past week drew convinced me to do this long survey on spiritual and religious living. you get a free hoyts movie pass, hence why. it’s probably the first time i genuinely experienced survey fatigue, ha.

i hated the questions that asked if i knew the meaning of life or what i am going to do with my life, life life life. i didn’t want to be reminded that i am always spending too much energy pondering over all these things. and now i am just plain afraid that i have ruined my own future.

don’t fall in love with diamond rings and tragedy.

that’s why you see, we fall for the wrong people. i think the past 4 months in australia have been a rollercoaster of sorts, by and large by my own effort i suppose. that’s why people grow out of believing in fate and chance and destiny.

i think i’ll be able to get over this and find myself someone more attainable.

weird little butterfly in my stomach.

i think i have a penchant for misery. yes i know, everyone does. everyone basks in contradiction and explanation and reason to make sense of our paradoxical greek tragedies. the symptom of wealth.

i guess it’s good that the economy is doing handstands, so we can all get our minds off ourselves for a while.

but i’m still thinking of you, and because you are already taken.

acquired taste.

now that i am by myself again i think i need to raise my standards for men. not in the material sense, but simple things like say, being single and available.

i must be really blind.

the most surreal experience

i really appreciate you guys for trying to find me a boyfriend, but not at a gig!

quoting jessica, “musicians make bad boyfriends.” but of course that doesn’t stop my darling pals from trying all ways and means to throw me to the poor band members of Little Red. admittingly i found them really cute, and i got to talk to taka… oh well, they are better off for watching from afar.

Duets

Rachael Yamagata & Ray Lamontagne

oh lover, i’m lost
because the road i’ve chosen beckens me away

oh lover, don’t you roam
now i’m fighting words i never thought i’d say

but i remember what we said
as we lay down to bed
i’ll forgive you oh
if you just come back home

awesome australia?

Sale Fest was awesome, although i was kind of afraid of whipping out my camera when you get beer spilled on you every 5 seconds. i love this pic though:

i have decided to name her Bubbly.

but i think the best part about my trip to Sale is going to Meg’s place. i would love to take pics of her pristine living room and put up pieces of her furry carpet if i could. and she took me and Rhian to Lake Glenmaggie, prolly the epitome of serenity.

i was quite hesitant at first about making a trip out on my own to meg’s, my virgin aussie outing without sg friends. but it was a wonderful experience and meg’s folks are absolutely the sweetest. (: then her aunt and uncle came over as well that night, and we ended up talking about aboriginal culture, and how none of them knew they were aboriginal descendants until only a few years ago. their greatgrands had to keep it a secret as up till the 60s, the British colonial masters decreed they could take away any child that had aboriginal blood. this was a result of the British massacring and raping aboriginals, leaving half-blood children that the British made use of and discriminated against. there are actually towns called Kilmore and Kilmany in australia, proudly named by the British for the number of aborigines they murdered.

the saddest irony perhaps, is that 40% of australians today still do not consider aborigines as one of them, despite the (now) widely acknowledged fact that aborigines are the first australians. so i am actually pretty thankful for the way things are in singapore, that at least you know you have a place as a citizen no matter what race you are.

“i tell you what’s important!”

there’s been a problem with my eyes. i first realised it when i started photography, but now it’s become more apparent and my photos are turning out awful. i can’t seem to be able to focus properly, or i would focus on the background instead of my subject, thinking i’m doing the latter.

but of course i’m not really sure if its just a psychological issue.