lessons to be learnt everyday

you see, in life we like to categorise ourselves into two extremes- yourself and everyone else. but most of the time we are really living on the edge of the more selfless and correct extreme, and we never enter it. such a precarious act.

 imagine! losing one’s self! losing your character! all your steadfast beliefs and the very essence of your dark being!

sometimes i think that i don’t let go of bad memories because i have let them define who i am. i like that i have something unhappy about me that makes me just a tad different. maybe i’m really a sunshine gal but i really want to be angsty instead.

so instead of having a distinct character, i have none. i don’t even realise what i want to be. unfortunately, it’s also showing in my photos.

when wayne finally remembered my name he decided to give me a pep talk too. and it sucks to receive criticism, always will, but it sucks more to realise that my tenacity for it has never really been tested and that sucks.

and that i am really still hard at work in the “self” side of the world, trying to perfect everything, not knowing if this is what i want but yeap that should work. i think caring about destitute people is part of me, but it’s really just caring about myself.

i’m not lying when i say that it always comes back to you.