jolly folly.

it’s really cheesy to say this but, how fast time flies.

i’m not sure why and how exactly, but i’ve gone through 18 christmases and each year, i still have a tendency to look forward to it. i would always wonder if this year would be different from the last, and i suppose that in the festive mood of it all we never realise how similar every christmas really is. from spending this day with my family, to counting down at church (a 2-year stint i must add), to partying away with friends and strangers, hoping for a mistletoe. and at this point when you finally have a special someone to spend it with, you’re just so worn out by it all that you hope just a hug will be enough for him. i mean, that’s love, no?

i’m not really sure if i’m weary of christmas, or if i’ve just become plain lazy.

greetings from concrete singapore.

again, i was disappointed when we were landing in singapore. it’s just so… dense. even from a few thousand feet in the air you could see how suffocated and overloaded this little island is.

and yes, i do agree with paul that you have to know where to find that old charm… sadly i was with my family, and we’re not very adventurous. plus mother has the whole “we must stick together” idea.

i just feel as though i didn’t go on a holiday… like i took a day trip to johor bahru or something. i didn’t like the toyota corolla fleet of taxis, didn’t like the fact that there were so many white people around, or that my stepdad is one of those caucasians who fall for those tourist souvenirs like the pewter vase.

plus it didn’t help that everyone looked at us as though mother, sister and i were thais ’accompanying’ a white man. i guess you cannot get anymore age variety than us.

now i’m just paranoid that my films will all turn out to be blank rolls :S let’s just say that wayne was right- it really is better to get closer to people. there isn’t a point in cheating with super zoom lens. 

wait two weeks for photos!

greetings from modern bangkok

i have to admit- i was disappointed the moment i stepped into the city.

the airport is so… new. so sqeaky clean and futuristic and orderly. and frankly speaking, placing two giant thai statues at the side did not make the place any more thai than it should be. where is the old charm and all the grummy stains on the floors?

somehow, i didn’t feel like i was in bangkok. i prefer chiang mai. i went to the floating market today, but it’s so commercialised that we were having traffic jams in the river lane. everything is so touristy!

plus it doesn’t help that my stepdad is a caucasian. the hawkers mark everything up four-folds at least can.

:/

i took most of my photos with my SLR, so you’ll have to wait till i develop my rolls (4 already so far). i hope they don’t turn out too bad.

this boy is a genius.

i met this adorable litle tot when i was photographing Books Actually. with my camera and tripod in tow (barely his height!), he went round the store doing all my work for me. well, i adjusted most of the shots and he did the clicking. but he had really interesting angles and at this tiny age, already possessed some concepts about composition (e.g. getting Karen and Kenny to pose the way he wanted, running all over looking for nice objects to shoot).

i caught better shots of him (i hope) with my film camera, his apple-stained fingers all over my DSLR. later on, i found out that his dad- who was in half of all the tot’s shots- is a photographer.

i read from New York Times that ingenuity probably does run in the genes. This is quite unfair don’t you think.

what ethics really mean.

i’ve gotten myself in hot soup. the heroic journalist in me decides to do a story on young ex-offenders and what happens to them after rehabilitation.

i guess i’ve always imagined that i have an easy life. i’ve always thought that help is readily available, that everybody would want to share their life story for a good cause. well, i was wrong. some people just want to move on and forget about it, and people like me want them to talk for a good grade on transcript.

 as much as i started out with good intentions, i find that at the end of the day, the nagging problem of saving my own ass always comes into the picture. sometimes you forget why you are all doing this. it’s just like what wayne said to me about people who scold us when we take their photos- we’re selfish, that’s why. we just go and “hello you have a nice nose. can i take a photo of you?” and we expect to be treated decently. we never bother to get to know them, because we don’t have the time.

i didn’t think it was just me.

honestly, i’ve always known that my issues aren’t anything worth talking about. i’ve known that in fact, i lead a very comfortable life and i increase my vocabulary so that i can rant on in a never ending stream of variations about the exact same things.

i am rather pathetic. and i’ve realised that the most childish people aren’t the ones who are ignorant, but they are the know-it-alls who presume themselves to be mature and worldly, who possess crystal clear knowledge about their flaws and shake their leg about it. they just sit there and do nothing. nothing.

and i am one such person. for the first time in my life i am one half of a serious pair; as more time passes it becomes apparent to me that i am simply not grown-up enough. is it wrong to end something that will hurt the person you love most?

and what does he say? “everybody has to grow up.”

so it seems that we can’t gain maturity by giving up all the time. i love you.